Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
