I am in a vortex of obligation.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
