I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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