Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
