Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
