She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
