Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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