ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
