If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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