my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize