He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize