booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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