Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize