I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
