my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
