About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
