I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
