You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
