In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
