Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Randomize
