I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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