Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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