problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
