Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
