How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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