You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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