Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
How does one acquire holy water?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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