Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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