wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
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REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
ok first of all what the fuck
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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