just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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