It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize