I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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