I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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