pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
