He kissed a someone with a penis
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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