I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
