I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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