I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Don't EVER smell your tampon
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize