Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
