I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
