I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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