There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
