Dual....:-)
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I will die if light touches me.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
