ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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