this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
