We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Randomize
