Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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