I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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