drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
