i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
