I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
