Joe is yelling at the trees again.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
