I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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