I accidentally had phone sex last night
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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