babies were throwing up all over the place
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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